Episode 2: Dentistry Personal Statement For Birmingham
As we did last week, we’ll show you a successful REAL UCAS Personal Statement submitted by an applicant to study Dentistry at Birmingham university. You’ll find out exactly which uni’s accepted this applicant, which didn’t and what our Dentistry tutor’s expert comments have to say about the statement.
UniAdmissions will be posting the different Personal Statement each week for the next 3 weeks so watch this space. Did you miss last week? Read it here.
These are the basic figures for the Personal Statement we’re looking at today:
This Personal Statement was submitted to five universities as is the norm for any course that isn’t Medicine. This candidate got 2/5 offers for Dentistry. We don’t, unfortunately, know which university was their first choice. Here’s how they did!
INTERVIEW + REJECTED
THE PERSONAL STATEMENT
Everyone has the right to a good smile. A smile can have a major effect on a person’s self-esteem, confidence and happiness. It would give me great satisfaction being able to have a positive effect on a patient’s quality of life by being able to influence these and many more factors. Dentistry as a prospective career path has always been a very appealing profession because I am interested in caring for people and also enjoy the creativity involved with the profession.
My work experience has further fuelled my desire to study dentistry, because it has shown me how rapidly expanding the dental sector which allows continuous learning. I have worked at Smiledent Dental Practice where I shadowed the dentists and the dental nurses. This experience has highlighted the importance between the balance of leadership and teamwork required to achieve the best treatment for the patients and the efficient running of a dental practice. Furthermore, I witnessed the need to gain the trust of the patient and build a patient-dentist relationship, to allow for a smooth successful treatment.
Apart from a dental practice, I have also volunteered at Haselbury Junior School organising activities for young children at an afterschool club for three months. Working with young children taught me to adapt my communication skills, using simple vocabulary and body language. During this time, it also gave me a sense of care and responsibility towards the children. This motivated me to work with people at the opposite end of the age spectrum. I therefore volunteered at The Haven Day Centre which was a humbling yet valuable experience. I enjoyed being a pillar of support to the elderly trying to entertain them and it was a warming experience to witness their joy.
Moreover, I have regularly attended St John Ambulance Cadets for the past three years. I am now a senior member in the division teaching younger peers first aid thoroughly enjoying the additional responsibility involved in nurturing others.
In addition, I have a keen academic interest. The transmission of diseases, prevention and immunology in Biology, has emphasised to me the significance of hygiene and how rapidly diseases can spread which is vital in the field of dentistry. In Chemistry, I have particularly enjoyed learning about molecular bonding enabling me to understand why particular materials have properties that make them suitable for their job. I have thoroughly enjoyed and flourished in the practical aspects of both subjects. The experiments have allowed me to put into practice/apply the knowledge I have acquired in lessons. Studying mathematics has improved my problem-solving ability acquiring practice to reach answers with a methodical yet flexible approach. In years 9 and 12, I was invited to attend lectures at the London Metropolitan University and the Royal Institution of Mathematics over a series of weekends. As a result, I had the opportunity to study branches of mathematics outside the syllabus which thoroughly challenged me. Additionally, geography has helped develop a creative aspect of academic life. In the human sector, I enjoyed the topic about smoking because it taught me the history and origins of smoking and the widespread effect it has on the body including the gums and teeth.
As part of my research, I have expanded my dental knowledge using several websites to gain extra information. I have been fascinated by crowns and root canal treatments because I am fond of the creativity involved such as choosing tooth colours, shape and material to ensure practicality for the patient and simultaneously rectify tooth damage.
Finally, from my work experience in a dental practice and I believe would thrive in such an environment.
GOOD POINTS OF THE PERSONAL STATEMENT
Clear structure and the student gives good insight into his/her motivation for the study of dentistry as well as providing evidence for his/her personal, professional, and academic development. It becomes very clear that the student is dedicated to the subject and disciplined in the pursuit of his/her goals. Having a good experience from work attachments is a further strong point, demonstrating the student’s enthusiasm for the subject. The student also shows a good range of other achievements and activities that contribute to the overall, very positive, impression of a dedicated and well-rounded individual.
PERSONAL STATEMENT BAD POINTS
At times, the style of the statement is somewhat unclear. Particularly towards the end, one gets the impression that the student ran either out of space or out of ideas as the different aspects raised in the text are not discussed to their full effect, making them significantly less relevant for the overall quality of the statement. This is particularly a problem with the conclusion which makes little to no sense.
UNIADMISSIONS OVERALL SCORE: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
An average statement that demonstrates some good and relevant work experience and patient exposure. Unfortunately, the statement is let down by some stylistic weaknesses that reduce the overall strength of the content, at least in some parts.
And there we have it – episode 2 of the Personal Satement series complete. Again, this statement was borrowed from our Ultimate UCAS Personal Statement Guide.
We will be posting a Personal Statement each week for the next 3 weeks. Each week will cover a different subject so keep on the lookout for your subject – see you there!
Students enrolled on our comprehensive application support Programmes will get access to Personal Statement redrafts.
Your tutor will give you actionable feedback with insider tips on how to improve your statement for the best chances of success. With UniAdmissions, you can triple your chances of success. Want to find out how?